The Washington Post recently held a contest for readers in which they were asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. Some of the prizewinners:
Abdicate (v): to give up hope of ever having a flat stomach
Carcinoma (n): a valley in California notable for its heavy smog
Esplanade (v): to attempt an explanation while drunk
Willy-nilly (adj): impotent
Flabbergasted (adj): appalled by how much weight you have gained
Negligent (adj): describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie
Lymph (v): to walk with a lisp
Gargoyle (n): an olive-flavoured mouthwash
Bustard (n): a very rude Metrobus driver
Coffee (n): a person who is coughed upon
Flatulence (n): the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you have been run over by a steamroller
Balderdash (n): a rapidly receding hairline
Testicle (n): a humorous question in an exam
Semantics (n): pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the prayer-book together just before vespers
Rectitude (n): the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you
Oyster (n): a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions
Circumvent (n): the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
February 27, 2007 at 6:15 am
Here’s one my son came up with-
“aspirate”- when your butt sweats.
July 15, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Sarchasm: Abysmal sarcasm
March 29, 2010 at 10:59 pm
Banalogy – drivel
March 18, 2012 at 4:32 am
Infoverage – When old people ramble on and on about their youth; meaning too much information; what happens after a presidential debate including the news commentary by the reporters as to what they really meant.