Disparaging comments on my beloved football team

July 27, 2006

In reply to an article on sportnetwork.net, offered as a post to topspurs.com.

Guest column contribution or just a madman in a closet with only a painted egg for company?

Apparently the dutch have decided, as a nation, that Tottenham are a small side. We are, say 77% of the people most famous for tulips, windmills, legal prostitution and drugs, “an average premiership side.”

I felt offended only until I considered the source more deeply. This is the nation that sent settlers to my hometown of Cape Town. Settlers who, when things got a little crowded around table mountain completely failed to notice the 400million square miles of land to the north and tried to chuck a mountain into the sea instead. They may have many qualities (including birthing Martin Jol) but, as a nation, acute observation is not their strong point.

To the 10% who think that spurs is an icehockey team.. I think you are ahead of your time. That will be in 2016 when the FA refuses to move football to a summer sport despite the fact that London’s latest winter attraction will be a glacier popping down from the north on an annual holiday shopping jaunt.

So, now that we have got the country’s most valuable national asset living in a country that exists largely above water we can at least be assured we will only be temporarily losing access to legal prostitution, tulips and drugs when the sea levels increase and they are all at the boat shop buying waterproof tobacco pouches.



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