The Big Conspiracy- who or what is really screwing up your life

December 21, 2006

It’s amazing how running accross seemingly unrelated information can suddenly make the world so clear. Being a person who is unafraid of the word “conspiracy” and does not think it’s use automaticaly warrants a visit to the funny farm, padded cell and fashionable jacket included, I though I might share in a moment of clarity.

Growing up in the 70s and 80s in South Africa I was the child of a country whose governmental approach to child safety (and the economy and international relations) involved harassing, making a misery of and sometimes removing the lives of a great many black people living in poverty. Some as little as 10 miles away from me.

Somewhat akin, then, to george Bush’s war on terror in Iraq but with Arabs instead of Africans and a somewhat larger geographical difference, as if that matters in our bright new global village.

But, my point? Do I have one?

I do. I will get there, bear with me. I need to cite the evidence first.

I note that we, as a species, are being weakened systematically throughout our lives (with the USA at the forefront), starting from infancy. First, things that may seperate the wheat from the chaff are being removed. The chaff, is, in fact, being preserved and protected in such a manner that it is indistinguishable from the wheat in almost all circumstances.

When we are in a crib our parents are brow-beaten by Dr. Phil, Oprah, child services and interfering know-nothing friends into putting baby monitors next to a crib to, wait for this, amplify the sound of a screaming child at 3am in the morning. Parents in the 50s wouldn’t have dreamed of it. One of the first things you did when you had a pregnancy (before buying the crib but after the hurried ceremony) was sound-proof the kids room. Between 8pm and 7am the child was placed in a tiny cell with no entertainment and only a small blanket to choke on and left to it’s own devices. Any creature that can accidentally kill itself with a small blanket needs to be removed from the gene pool. I do not want that creature to end up as my driving instructor or even serving me fries at some appalling take-away. One small baby is not that big a deal and it’s so easy (and fun) to make another!

Today, when youngsters are just starting to explore the possibility of danger in the great outdoors, evil safety Nazi’s prevent them from allowing their incompetence as human beings to injure or damage themselves. This piece in Radar Magazine (ref1) details the wonderful destructive and dangerous toys that used to be available for any child old enough to accidentally bruise, stab, blow up or otherwise maim and damage him (or her)self and others within throwing distance. There were darts with 3 inch spikes and heavy weights which you could throw up in the air, radioactive labs for the play-pen, cannibal cabbage patch dolls eager to take a finger off an unsuspecting tyke and flying ballerinas capable of serving up a healthy dose of concussion. A junior game of the quick and the dead. We were given food only at mealtimes, learning to feel hungry before we ate our next meal. Fun ‘snack’ things to eat in the fridge were lettuce, cabbage abd a jar of pickled onions with an expiry date from the 19th century. Hunger stimulates the brain’s ability and motivation to think (ref2).

These days children wear helmets on bicycles, knee and elbow pads on skateboards. Toys are removed from shelves if they can cause damage if swallowed. Parents cushion sharp edges in the home (I couldn’t believe that when I first heard of it) and hide the pretty green washing up liquid so there is nothing to drink while they’re out.

This carries on all through life. A local university recently tried to ban (it was later toned down to: will not officially sanction or allow to advertise on campus) any event run by students for students where there would be alcohol. How is anyone meant to fall off a roof or out of a first story window when sober? Or down the stairs? Or roll a car? Or shag a girl with more facial hair than you? All those things that teach you that when bad things happen it hurts but it will get better (unless you died or broke your neck or got her pregnant, of course).

To confuse matters further, because of this coddling people who could have been weeded out of the system and spent their lives as a hermit, street sweeper (my next job for preference), shop assistant or other person we can choose to avoid if we want- they become politician or, in one case, a school principal and expel a kid for doing completely the right thing (handing in a pellet gun he found in the school’s gentlemans toilets) rather than walking away (ref3). Why did the principal do it? Was it because, as he said: “purposeful possession of weapons is a serious offense” or, perhaps, because he was a melon headed space cadet who, in a slightly more dangerous world, would have taken a job in fecal reclaimation and settled down with a woman the size of a house had he been hit on the head by his sister’s flying ballerina at the age of 12 and spent a week in hospital dealing with his bedpan and a large friendly, nurse called Bertha? The idiocy of fighting the action of darwinist principles within society, once instituted, is self-perpetuating.

And it continues to adulthood. We sit in front of a TV instead of playing sport with our friends. We eat rubbish that fattens us up and never let ourselves become properly hungry. This “food rubbish” slows us down and leaves us malnourished and peevish not to mention unattractive to the opposite sex. Or even the same sex. We do unimportant jobs and we work hard to do them well so we are too tired to do anything but pick up crappy take out and vegetate in front of a TV. We are allowed only govenment approved drugs which (like all things to do with government) have all the side affects without the fun.

I had mentioned a point. I had. I did. I’m almost there now. It was a conspiracy theory-type thing.

Here we go. The conspiracy is to make all of us slaves and it can only be perpetuated by the most craven, underhanded, self-centered, immoral people. Or creatures. Or things.

But no David Icke Lizard people. No worldwide secret organisation cover up. The conspirators are, in our modern world, front page news. They are famous. They are observed and investigated in the minutest ways and we see graphical representations of them everywhere. The conspirators are a macroscopic pair of spiral staircases. The conspirators are our DNA.

DNA does not care for our happiness, it exists to perpetuate itself. It is life looking to make more life. As much more life as it can and it will give you the skills to survive if only because those skills are passed on from others who survived. The biggest survival skills for herd or social animals: blend in, don’t rock the boat, be stable, look for security, err toward the center. Human DNA does not care for freedom. Free creatures get picked off by predators. Human DNA (h_DNA) cares for the quality of the other h_DNA it combines with and will choose the best it can get to make even “better”, newer h_DNA. Human DNA’ cares’ for status, because status gets more mates and better mates and that way the h_DNA gets to make more, and better, h_DNA.

Westerners accept what we are fed as a society because change is dangerous as far as our DNA is concerned, it will want stability and safety. We accept things done for our safety because thousands of years of evolution tell us to. We accept the set of status-rules because our DNA is more likely to spread if we do. But it’s not going to result in happiness. Just more DNA.

How does humanity win? Slaves to the microscopic within our own cells. Betrayed by our history where cowardice survives more often than heroism. Where being a follower offers more consistant security than being a failed leader ostracised by the group? The biggest conspiracy there ever was, completely provable and factual, heading back further in time than human history.

A jester’s 10 point completely unqualified preachy plan

To make the DNA work for us:

Marketing takes control of every base instinct we have and twists it to control our behaviour. It’s their job, it’s practically written on the door. Honesty in marketing.
How about promoting as worthy of status good deeds (this used to happen- a religion called Christianity pushed for it big time and then it all got fucked up because people would rather listen to a good orator or man in a funny hat than read one half of a book and then think for themselves) instead of promoting cars with shiny wheels and big grills and cash as status?

Encourage the veneration of Intelligence AS WELL AS (not instead of) physical prowess. No, we don’t do that at the moment. The ability to make money is not connected to huge intellect. More usually it is connected with ruthlessness (not to be confused with evilness or nastiness). In South Africa, for instance, our scientists do their work for love but are treated most often like 2nd class citizens and are paid appallingly.

Teach children to think critically, not just regurgitate information. This means having teachers who can think critically. You will need to pay them decently (not hugely, though, most critical thinkers don’t value money that highly) and you will need to treat them with respect and trust. Don’t tax them either. My parents taught me from the womb to argue a point and listen to other points of view. Even argue with them. They took the time. If teachers had less useless information to disseminate (major export of Gautemala- who cares?) they could take time to encourage more discussion in the classroom. Debating should be a class on it’s own.

Everyone should be literate whether they like it or not. Every town should have a library no matter if it is unused and censorship should be done away with. In a critical society points of view need not be

To make society work for us:

Everyone in a democracy should have to vote or face 10 days community service. All of them should have to do a (quick, multiple choice) test naming the top 10 policies of any 3 parties running and what their policies were in the last election. They should have to get 90% or do it again and again until they get it right. This will also catch anyone at the age of 18 who has slipped through the literacy net.

Everyone at the age of 18 in every country should do 12 months national service. Not in the military but helping in hospitals, police stations, public transport, fire stations, schools and gentrifying poor areas. Poor people never get to see how much the other classes pay in taxes to help them so there is a disconnect. Get the middle and upper class kids down there and you get two benefits. The poor get to feel the country cares about them because they see the effects every day and the wealthier kids get to see to see the poor as people, not a statistic. Those memories make it easier when you see how much of your paycheck the government gets. And the poor kids get skills, experience and a reference.

No one starves (there is no country that cannot afford this unless they are being attacked by a military force- politics and stupidity cause food shortages, not droughts) and medical care is free to whatever level the country can afford and no further. Make the cheapest things free first? Possibly, I don’t know.

Everyone gets a roof over their heads and a safe place to sleep.

Protect the people from corporate interests: Have a Monopolies Commission with ridiculous powers. You need this in a capitalist state. Any company convicted of price fixing cedes 25% of it’s assets to a state fund. The profits of the fund going into the tax base. States should own assets, it’s not communism it’s just smart. If the government was making the money from the oil/ diamonds/ copper how much less would you pay in taxes? Probably the same but the schools might be better.

Protect the people from government: There must be, in a democracy, a branch of the police (combined with auditors) who randomly audit government officials and departments.

There must also be a free press and television news service. This might be easier than you think. I alone have 3 ideas for someone to poke endless holes in.

Discourage Jingoism in everything but sports.

Tax the purchase of cars to hell but set up a system where they are cheap to hire for the short-term.Public transport should be as near to free as dammit, comfortable, as eco-friendly as possible and does not need to be fast. As long as people can sit down comfortably they will learn to take a book and a portable radio (the book is free from the library and portable radios are a dollar). Free, clean, well-maintained public transport is a quick way to put money in the pockets of the poor and middle class and take it from the rich. If your country can’t afford to make it free for everyone have 2 classes and have no seats in the free section, people will get over it. It’s free (In South Africa where min wage about R6 ($1) per hour transport costs R15- R30 per day.)

Most Important point: Always, always, always remember that idealists with plans and ideas are the most dangerous people on the planet. On no account trust them but do listen to them. Amongst them number Ghandi, Jesus, George Bush, Mussolini, The Prophet Mohammed, Adolf Hitler, Nelson Mandela, The Pope (any of them) and Bill Gates. And a jester. Listen to the ideas, be critical.


Post scripts or: things that didn’t fit into the flow of the piece and/or were badly formed ideas or badly formed arguments or annoying or once slept with my girlfriend and we’re not speaking anymore.

We are being turned into societies scared of everything. Looking for security above all else. We are being programmed that way every day. Brainwashed to want a safe house and a bigger TV and our food delivered. Trained not to question the basics the way my parents did in the 60s and 70s apartheid South Africa. Like others did in the 60sUSA- that wonderful country at the forefront of the ‘love’ movement.

We are not taught politics in school. We all should be. Democracy does not stop at a voting booth. Democracy is 100,000 people marching down a street. Democracy is reminding officials who they represent. Democracy is standing for government yourself if you have to. All this takes time. Time you probably don’t have.

The conspiracy is us. Not standing with each other, not getting to know each other, spending more time watching TV than making our worlds better. The

Fear is control. Scared people don’t question, they like the status quo. Questions that need to be asked, and the answers analysed very carefully:

Every time two $Billion companies merge and people get laid off and there is less competition is it good for you? If it isn’t then it’s the government’s job to stop them. Did they? Did you, personally, do anything when they didn’t?

Why is it better for you if a corporation moves their car (shirt/nose-ring) plant out of your country and to India/China? Did the car price come down? Would I be willing to pay 10% more if my neighbour still had a job?

If I work just 8 hours a day (few do), commute 2 hours a day, take 2 hours to wind down after work, shop an average of 30 minutes per day, take 60 minutes to eat, use the toilet and shower, 30 minutes to keep the house clean and then sleep for 8 hours how much time do I have to myself? 2 hours.

How can there still be illiteracy in the richest countries in the world?

Why are the wealthy countries not topping the world in surveys about happiness?

Are you, personally, being screwed by a situation not of your making?

The world is becoming too safe and we are all in danger of something worse than death. Becoming slaves in crappy mid-level jobs in a society

I approve of alcohol. I want to be able to claim, for all my stupid actions- every damn one, that I was toasted at the time. Pissed. Drunk. Gone. Wasted. Especially to my parents, my boss or the judge if she’s cute.

The USA has had it’s civil liberties raped yet the November senate races were still close. No-one, not a single peron should have voted for the Republicans. Anyone who did should have to shut up when they get to the ‘land of the free and home of the brave’ (paraphrasing not quoting, too tired to google the thing to check) bit.

How are they ever going to learn to deal with any pain or injury.


3 Responses to “The Big Conspiracy- who or what is really screwing up your life”

  1. Solnushka Says:

    I like your ideas for public transport – but I occassionally think that Russian public transport (I lived there for a bit an can be boring on the subject. Of Russia generally and their splendid public transport in particular) is better than that of the UK because it has to be. Or rather had to be – now more people can afford cars it’s only a matter of time before you have to have a car or be faced with awful service again.

    I’m quite keen on the responsibilities of belonging to a community section too.

    The monolpolies thing was inetersting. Reminded me you live in SA. Not a big deal here in the UK – no real natural resources left tgo pillage. Huge in Russia though, mostly to do with oil. I was rather depressed to learn that Norway has some eccellent roads (and such) because their government invested their oil money back into the country as it’s almost the exact opposite of what’s happening in Russia.

    The changes you’re talking about would require coercion though. If you ran for election on this people wouldn’t vote because it would be too much hassle. Or go agaisnt existing interests. Or you’d end up watering down your policies as they progress through parliament. I mean, I know we are talking about utopian engineering here, but…

    Anyway, I enjoy reading your blog.

  2. Solnushka Says:

    This made a quiet amount of news yesterday. I thought it was interesting as somewhere in the commentry on the TV I seemed to hear the suggestion that he wanted it extended to a sort of conscription instead of national service. Or maybe that was just my wishful thinking…,,2022393,00.html

  3. Dear Solnushka

    I have often thought that it is perfectly fair to require some sort of “national service” for immigrants to a country looking for a better life. It seems like a fair trade. 12 months of someone’s life in exchange for a better future for them and their family.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: