Jester gets dissed

February 7, 2007

or: What I think of the people who let me know what they think of my writing…

What do you think of this post?

| I liked it. | I hated it. |

| I am going off to have some cheese and a think. |

View Resultsqueen_victoria_is_not_amused

I write some tat, I know. But I like to believe that in there somewhere are pearls of… of… something. Not wisdom, obviously. That is something you get in your 80’s with arthritis and a colostomy bag. So I put up a couple of polls on a couple of my pieces to see whether people actually read them or just look at the interesting curves the letters make and then fuck off.

I did not, I want to make this absolutely clear: did not do this because I am weedy, lonely and pathetic with a limp and thick glasses, in desperate need of affirmation from society and a hug. Honest. Really. Promise.

So, two very different pieces: The first was “The Long Game” written on Jan 31st, 2007 about politics, egalitarianism and societal planning which I expected to put lots of people to sleep and, in severe cases, a coma- so tried to liven up with my sometimes strange sense of humour; the second was a quick, flippant look at some appalling movies I have seen recently called “Film reviews always suck, so here are some” on February 3rd, 2007.

Oddly enough each got seven votes which means that I may now have a whole seven readers: no mean feat! Wow! Not only that, but these seven seem to be of a more intellectual bent. Voting was as follows:

The Long Game (intellectual, had words with more than 2 syllables)

6 people Liked it
1 person Said… Yawn: Gave up before 3rd paragraph
0 people Hated it

Film reviews Suck (flippant, had “suck” in the title)

3 people Liked It
1 person found it Boring
2 people Hated It
1 person Would rather be watching Baywatch

From this I gather that: the person who watches Baywatch was also the person who gave up after the 3rd paragraph of “The Long Game” and doesn’t like my writing at all but accidentally made this his homepage and doesn’t know how to change it.

Of the 6 other people who enjoyed “The Long Game” 2 like long reviews for their movies as it gives them a figure to hate and commit future violence against when frustrated. They know that causing grievous bodily harm to a film critic is not considered a crime in most civilised countries and carries only a small fine in those where it is.

One of them is the epitomy of the phrase “brevity is the soul of wit” and therefore does not watch movies as they are too long and instead derives their theories on society, it’s drives, rules and norms from 30 second adverts and shoving people violently up against the wall shouting “WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!”

The other three, who enjoyed both, are well balanced, intelligent and charming individuals loved by all and with a future that knows no bounds, limits or caps. They are supremely confident, great drivers, fantastic lovers, eloquent public speakers and get given gifts by people they hardly even know, even when it isn’t their birthday. They are not carrying any extra weight, have no grey hair and never, ever get a nervous twitch over their right eye and homicidal tendencies when aggravated. Ever.

Just like me.


2 Responses to “Jester gets dissed”

  1. prayer Says:

    what rubbish!

  2. Indeed, prayer. Indeed.

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