Football Guru says…

February 9, 2007

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| I am a football hooligan and cannot read |

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More about football. Since I am writing for PushandRun and use this as my writing repositry this sort of tat is going to be more frequent. Sorry.

I am a guru when it comes to predictions. I predicted that Al Gore would defeat George Bush in the their Presidential race back in 2000* and he did. I predicted that the world would be outraged at the genocide in Darfur and pledge their support and they did. I also predicted that the world would finally get on board and promise to cancel third world debt and… they did.

So it should not worry any Spurs fans out there that Al Gore then somehow did not become President, no-one but African countries actually tried to help anyone in Darfur and all but one country (the UK) has not fulfilled any promises regarding third world debt (thanks Bono, you dick, for following up).

We Spurs are now going to go on a winning run. The players have had it with losing. They are going to get up off their overpaid butts and start firing on all cylinders. They will wow and amaze the fans with their commitment if not always their football and record seven straight and gutsy wins, here goes:

Sheff Utd 1-2 Tottenham (Warnock punches out Jol saying “welcome to the Premiership, baldy”- sent to stands for 3 matches)
Fulham 0-3 Tottenham (Zat Knight diagnosed with Bulemia shock!)
Everton 1-2 Tottenham (Johnson banned for slaughtering 3 people in a nightclub using only his forehead)
Tottenham 1-0 Bolton (Sam Allardyce accused of looking like a Pig Farmer, kills accuser)
West Ham 0-1 Tottenham (Curbishley says he needs worse players, like he had at Charlton, in order to forge a decent side)
Tottenham 9-0 Watford (Watford field their female pensioners side in order to get novelty bums on seats as season continues to slide)
Tottenham 2-0 Reading (Michael Duberry displays how he has become even more useless since his days at Leeds)

I’m telling you: me and Nostradamus, baby!

Like two peas in a pod!

*it was 2000, wasn’t it?

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