November 1, 2007
A man in the UK has been placed on the sexual offenders list with, note, rapists and paedophiles for “having sex with a bicycle”. When I first heard of this I thought “sure, okay, you don’t go around doing that sort of thing in public- it can put people off their lunch.”
But it wasn’t. In public I mean. It was in a locked hotel room*. Assuming the bicycle was his I really do not see what the hell this has to do with the court system. He has been convicted of “sexual breach of the peace.” Unless he was being particularly loud or the bicycle had not been oiled in an awfully long time I do not see this at all.
What people do in private is their own business, surely, unless it causes harm to others. Unless he can be proven to be deliberately luring the cleaners who came across him** into the room for an audience I fail to see what he did wrong. Besides, if he wanted an audience simply filming it and placing it on YouTube will do the business.
Perhaps the old fella just needs a bit of education in the ways of the modern world. I would like to ask him, though: are bi-cycles hotter than uni-cycles, just like women?
*From The Telegraph:
She said: “They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.
“They [the cleaners] used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.
“The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex.”
Both witnesses, who were extremely shocked, notified the hotel manager, who in turn alerted the police.