On the high side of life

October 26, 2007

Just as the British government is considering reclassifying Cannabis a class 3 drug after decriminalising possession some years ago a report is released showing possession amongst 16-24yr olds is down 7% in the last decade. This is hardly a shock to anyone who remembers being young. If any enterprising innovators want to cut out recreational drug use altogether they should make it a compulsory lesson in school. I’m betting just before calculus would be best. Sure, it sounds like it would be fun at first but, in truth, by the time you turned 12 the novelty would have totally worn off.*

But governments aren’t famous for their clear, innovative, well- balanced decisions. Neither are musical artists but Radiohead have reportedly sold 1.2 million copies of their new album inrainbows in the first week by offering it to you for whatever you want to pay- even nothing. A western world sick of capitalism apparently, voluntarily gave an average of $5 for the downloadable album meaning the band did about 5 times better than if they had sold it through a record company.

This is what happens when you give people who take drugs power over their lives: they get all touchy- feely and believe people are just, like, “fundamentally good and generous and shit”. They go and annoy all of us by making millions proving it right. Piety and wealth! I say we burn them at the stake. The album’s quite good, though. I paid $5.


For all those who think that artists taking drugs/ living it up/ driving too fast and dying young is a bad example for the youth I give you the comparison of Elizabeth Taylor and James Dean. Which do you think is a better role model, Mad Liz or the man who said “dream as if you will live forever, live as though you will die today.”? Imagine if Michael had died in a rollercoaster accident before he was accused for the 17th time of being a kiddie fiddler. If Paul McCartney had never joined “Wings”. How much better would our lives be?

Thank you Jimi, Kurt, Janis, John and, of course, James. From a time when artists were more considerate of their fans.

*- what the hell is an 11yr old doing calculus for- that is madness!


With all our world leaders jostling with one another to explain how safe they are going to make us we have ended up with some pretty bloody stupid airport security around the world in the last few years*.

The fact is that any team of 5 people determined enough and willing to sacrifice their lives can bring down an aircraft without bringing a single, solitary weapon on board. De-pressurizing an aeroplane in just the right way is easy and enough and all you have to do for the flimsy thing to go pffffft and leave a whole lot of people regretting that they are now tied to an extremely heavy seat shortening their life span by a good minute or so.

If after that little revelation you’re too paranoid to get in aircraft that means (1) that you have an appalling ability to assess and compare dangers and (2) we get to keep a glacier for another minute and three seconds and I get another four days before I have to start building anti- flood barriers around my house and, well, every bit helps.

But if you genuinely want top notch security in airports, the best in the world, for free, you sell gambling rights, right there in the departure lounges, to top Casino companies. Everyone knows that Casinos, to protect their cash, have the very best security in the whole world. Make them apply that knowledge in defending your planes and you will be far better off than you are with 50c an hour security guards trying to stick their fingers up your butt while you turn on your laptop computer. And their tax is making sure nothing bad happens- or they lose their contract and investment.

No more missing luggage, either. Anyone trying to nick your iPod from your suitcase will find themselves at the bottom of a nearby river and you, after having the iPod replaced, will have a free three night stay in a suite at one of their casino hotels. Hookers and cocaine an optional extra.

These people know how to protect their assets. You do not have to trust them- just their motivations.

*- You cannot make a bomb on a plane using liquids. You just cannot. You blow your hands off/ burn them beyond use long before you can create anything damaging. You can easily get a laptop computer to turn on and boot up with loads of space available inside it for all sorts of dodgy shit that you CAN blow an aeroplane up with.

It’s been demonstrated all over the world but the best recent example of why local government is important is in comparing Switzerland and the USA when it comes to that ‘ol favourite, guns. Oddly enough, when it comes to guns the USA has, in government structure, the right idea. They had to get something right eventually. Here is why.

I am assuming, first of all, that we are dealing with a gun-toting, trigger-happy nation. It will probably come as a massive surprise to anyone reading this that the Swiss are, indeed, keen on drilling small pieces of metal into inanimate things and furry creatures at high speed. This has come about because the Swiss government has a ruling stating that every soldier in the country MUST have a gun in the house. An unregistered gun.

All of this, according to a leading psychiatrist who lives in my head, has a lot to do with insecurity over the jokes made about their deadly Swiss army knives and their masses of experience on the front lines of conflicts. That experience consisting mostly of standing behind their bankers, wearing odd clothing, yodelling and cursing their little red knives, unable to get the cork out of a recently pillaged (I mean ‘donated’) bottle of Chardonnay since the corkscrew attachment is rubbish, as said bankers quietly melt the gold picked out of dead soldiers and civilians teeth. Not that I am being nasty or judgemental or anything.

Not me.

This wide spectrum gun- ownership is by no means a bad thing since it at least adds a level of excitement to a country officially voted the second dullest on earth after Sweden. By who, you ask? Me, as it happens. Five minutes ago, shortly before consulting the aforementioned imaginary psychiatrist. It’s been that kind of day. So Switzerland has quite a lot of deaths with people going nuts and killing their families, office colleagues and, thankfully, themselves as well.

The American government, however keeps these issues local. South Carolina, it seems, site of a fun day out with death and carnage at Virginia Tech (when a graduate student decided he was sick to death of whiny rich kids bitching about nothing and decided to kill as many of them as possible- a reasonable guy by any standards), has decided to make the carrying of concealed weapons on campus legal. Presumably to make any future shoot-outs a little more fair. Given the American love of “friendly fire” this seems perfectly in keeping with their national psyche.

Why is it better to do this locally rather than nationally? Well… personal tragedy, rights of man and general compassion aside it’s to do with having a successful democracy and the advancement of the human race in general.

If you have these sorts of gun policies locally it has to be supported by the community. This means that most (more than 50%) of the community is dumb (or the smart people are too apathetic to do anything about it which is just as bad). The smart, non- apathetic, people then move away from the nut-balls to somewhere safer and more sensible, like Iraq or Beirut, tipping the balance even further. Now, if someone goes on a rampage there is a far better than average chance that the people killed will be dumb. Bigger shoot-outs due to armed civilians and masses of “friendly fire” will ensue between civilians all over dumb areas culling the herd on a regular basis and lowering the chances of idiot politicians winning a national vote and increasing the country’s average intelligence.

If you allow it nationally it offers no benefit as the odds of someone in the smarter 50% of your population being killed are the same as for the stupider 50%. This has no benefits to the nation whatsoever.

Localised gun control rocks…!

Dave, 33

April 20, 2007

It had been a strange year. 33 years of skating over a frozen pond, skimming over the world, unaffected and always in command and then, in the 34th year two cracks formed. Two pieces gave way and twice I was plunged into cold, unforgiving waters.

The second was depression, the war of my life. Prone to madness, my family, and I got off lightly I suppose. One schizophrenic uncle, a gaggle of suicidal aunts and grandmothers, nutters perched on every branch of the tree. It was a fight I had always won. Sometimes a little too easily, perhaps. It is when you lose your fear, in my case my only remaining fear, that you might succumb. Fear is healthy, it exists for a reason.

I was never scared of dying. Never of pain. Never fazed by dislike or revulsion. Always happy to make the tough decision. Never afraid of never being loved by anything but a pet. Not scared of poverty. Never titllated by speed, wrenched by heights, nor threatened by the malicious and vicious. Afraid of only one thing and that was losing sanctuary. Everyone needs a place of sanctuary. A place of calm. Of control. Stability. Home.

I lost my mind.

The second crack. The ice gives way and down you go. It’s an odd thing, losing your mind. In my case, losing it to depression. When people talk about unhappiness, about grief, about that wailing, crying, sobbing, drizzy mess that comes with loss few realise that they are, at that point, nowhere near true depression. Crying is cathartic. Grieving is love.

Depression is empty.

That was the surprise as I dropped through the ice and sped down to the bottom of that world. How numb it all feels. How coldly logical everything seems. How detached you are from everything tactile. It is not like sorrow, don’t confuse it with sorrow because sorrow comes from yearning, as does melancholy. The smart, smarter than I, know to cherish those emotions. The depressed yearn for nothing. Cherish nothing. Air. Water. Fire. Tea. Sunshine. Friend. Oblivion. All are the same to the depressed.

With sorrow and grief and pain there is still you. There is still some driving force that can think of a better life. That can remember having one in the past and is desperate to have one in the future. To the depressed there is no sch thing, no reason to get out of bed, no reason to change the channel. There is no reason to turn on the television. You can’t anyway, there was no reason to pay the electricity bill…

The second crack. The second time drowning. Just enough of me left somewhere. Just a voice in the background not content to slip into oblivion without just one more final try. one more push. One more chance. A tiny voice had the sense to take control of the voice chords and scream “help”.

That was yesterday.

Enjoy a lower cost of living- because you’re not!
Guaranteed no suicidal tendencies if you fail a year!
No sports and, hence, no jocks to deal with.
Smell more, care less.
Discount clothes from ‘Zombies r Us’

A wide range of extra curricular activities…

Enrolment in the “Thriller Re-Enactments’ and the Neverland Ranch
Weekend ‘extras’ trips to Hollywood.

Free eulogy with every enrolment. Urn of your choice with “don’t discriminate, hire post-cremate” sticker and complimentary dustbuster for those awkward family moments…

33 places already gone… apply soon.

The perfect gift

April 8, 2007

The perfect gift for the person who has everything… including you listed in their will.

click for larger image

I grew up in apartheid South Africa. The government had kept us in fear of terrorist attacks (which were real but overstated) for so long we had become numb to it. It did not figure in everyday thinking.

When I lived in the UK in the 80’s it was still under threat of terrorist attack by the IRA. No-one really thought about it much or considered it a threat to their daily lives. In both countries there was a lack of public litter-bins, especially in crowded areas as they are an easy hiding place for bombs. Both countries had looped announcements in airports (and in the UK, on the tubes) warning of suspicious packages.

So why oh why is it so scary now? More people are not dying in terrorist attacks in the first world. A UK government document admits that terrorist attacks are down since 1982. With the exception of the 9/11 attacks in the USA which were easily preventable at multiple points- had there been an iota of competence in any single US agency from the Executive government through the CIA, FBI, air control or Republicans for Oprah; loss of life in acts of terrorism (1st world) are down.

Admittedly the new breed of terrorist seems willing to give their life for a cause, something unthinkable in an era where everyone is a sell-out for money (hey there P. Diddy, 50 cent, Rolling Stones, Limp Bizkit) but this would make you or I no less dead than if they were not. I do not make these claims without the numbers**, this will be my most researched piece ever.

I have picked the UK to look at for two reasons: (1) it has fairly reliable statistics and (2) I have lived there (twice) so I have a frame of personal reference (and the hypothermia to prove it).

Any week we are bombarded with terrorism, bird flu, AIDS, mad cow disease, serial killers, an out of control youth and grannies with automatic weapons*. Usually all on Sky News, every half hour. My, but their female Anchor is pretty…

So, what is going to kill you? What should the newspapers be reporting to you and what should the government be doing to protect you? Is it a virus with a grudge? Is it an uncle after an inheritance? Your employer working you to hard? Is it a bird? a plane..? Sue Perlman?***

The most likely culprit in your death, it turns out, is you. I added up cancer (genes, your diet, sunbathing, living near Chernobyl), smoking deaths (idiot), accidental deaths (idiot), liver disease (alcohol, idiot) and suicide (depression, idiot) to find that just under 50% of people who will shift the mortal coil in the UK will have done it to themselves.

I have not, since never meeting anyone who had a car accident that was their fault, even added vehicular deaths to ones that are your own fault. I am not even including heart disease, allowing all you fat bastards clemency, and instead blaming that on stress and your employer.

In fact, the three things most likely to kill you are cancer (153,000), smoking (114,000) and heart disease (70,000). All, barring from your genes screwing with you, easily preventable or postponable by adopting a vaguely healthy lifestyle. So, when the government tells us that we are lazy, fat and smoke too much do we welcome the information? Do we thank them? Do we bollocks! We vote for someone else. When television tells us the same thing do we listen attentively? Take notes and change our lives? Our response: “Screw the bastards! Don’t tell me how to live my life!” We change the channel.

Personally, I have no fear of death (not the same for pain, not a fan of pain). I don’t believe in an afterlife and always have tried to live my life to the fullest. And whereas I will prolong my life as much as I can I still go out in the sun, jump off bridges with rubber bands tied to my feet, eat bad foods when I want and drink when I please, in between I also eat healthy food when available, play fun sports as excercise and get laid whenever possible to keep my blood pressure down.

But even if you do not change your unhealthy, binge-drinking, fast-food eating, chainsmoking sedentary television-slave life your chances of dying are still infinitessimally small.

Of the things making the news and making people scared: in 2006 0 people died in terror attacks in the UK (worst year 2005: 37 people), in 2004 9 people died of the human version of mad cow disease (worst year2000: 28), in 2002 234 people died of AIDS related illness, 513 people were murdered and exactly 0 people died of avian flu. By the way, of the 513 people murdered most were killed by someone they new well, not by strangers. Isn’tthat nice? I think the personal touch counts.

A better way to put this, so you understand how hysterical this crap is:

60,208,545 or 99.99994% of Britons did not die of super-flu’.
60,209,266 or 99.99961% of Britons did not die of AIDS
60,209,472 Britons did not die of mad cow disease in 2000, it’s worst year
All Britons did not die of terrorist attacks in 2006
All Britons did not die of avian-flu ever.

Okay, maybe you think that’s a little unfair, playing with the numbers like that. Try it like this: You, living in Britain,

had a 0.00006% chance of dying in a terrorist attack in 2005, the worst year.
had a 0.00005% chance of catching human BSE (mad cow disease).
had a 0.05442% chance of dying of pneumonia (didn’t see that in the news).
had a 0.25477% chance of dying of cancer (or that one, much).

All right, you still think that’s unfair. How about comparing the total amount of people who died in 2005 with how they died: 512993 deaths (in 2005, but the figures don’t change much between then & 2002, where the figures all come from).

If you died in 2005 there was a 29.9% chance that you died of cancer.
If you died in 2005 there was a 22.2% chance that you died because you smoke.
If you died in 2005 there was a 0.67% chance that you died in a car accident (not your fault).
If you died in 2005 there was a 0.05% chance that you died of an AIDS related illness.
If you died in 2005 there was a 0.01% chance that you died in the London bombings or of BSE.

Time was when we lived our lives. You are not going to die today. I say this with the certainty of a person who knows by saying this to you, living in Britain, my percentage correct will be higher than I ever scored on any exam ever:


You don’t get odds like that in any betting anywhere else. Ever. Stop being scared. Have a cup of tea. You’re going to live. So don’t run that credit card bill up too high.

* I made that up.

** Some are from different years, could not get 2006 stats for everything in time available. I have a life, you know.

*** phonetic joke, not very good.

reference materials: as if you care…
ref#1: (pop.deaths) http://www.statistics.gov.uk/CCI/nugget.asp?ID=6
ref#2: (smoking) http://www.ash.org.uk/html/factsheets/html/fact02.html
ref#3: (cancer) http://info.cancerresearchuk.org/cancerstats/mortality/
ref#4: (superflu) http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4293765.stm
ref#5: (aids) http://www.statistics.gov.uk/cci/nugget.asp?id=654
ref#6: (all) http://www.anxietyculture.com/stats.htm
ref#7: (statistics of war) http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/theeditors/2006/07/the_statistics_of_war.html
ref#8: (road deaths eu) http://www.esrcsocietytoday.ac.uk/ESRCInfoCentre/facts/UK/index26.aspx?ComponentId=7101&SourcePageId=14975
ref#9: (air) http://www.airsafe.com/
ref#10: (terror) http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4661059.stm
ref#11: (mad_cow) http://www.igreens.org.uk/human_mad_cow_deaths.htm
ref#12: (heart disease) http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/static/in_depth/health/2000/heart_disease/default.stm

Idiocy on the Web

January 27, 2007

Beth Robbins is not a clever person in any sense of the word clever. She can write with decent grammar and either her magazine reading or her spell checker is up to date, if American in disposition. Nonetheless, Beth is an idiot. I use the word idiot advisedly: the freesearch dictionary describes an idiot, quite simply, as “a stupid person or someone who is behaving in a stupid way.” So we have her coming and going. This definition can leave her and her ilk in no doubt as to what I refer to.

I came accross the idiot Robbins because of my new favourite Internet site, the self proclaimed ‘best page in theuniverse’. The reason why I enjoy the writing can be expressed by his opening statement:

“This page is about me and why everything I like is great. If you disagree with anything you find on this page, you are wrong.”

In this age of deference, political correctness and religious tolerance it is refreshing to come accross someone who is opinionated, bigoted, nasty, confident and (most importantly) well spoken. He writes like a man who finally cracked at the unrepenting idiots of the world (just like Beth) and needed a place to vent. For instance, in his piece titled “Five shitty movies that everyone loves” he matches my feelings exactly:

“Ever watch a blockbuster movie that blows so much that you feel like you have to scrape a layer of turd-shaped photons off the back of your retinas, yet everyone else in the universe can’t wait to fellate the director of the big-budget shit festival you just watched? I know I’m not the only one who walked out of “Willow” thinking “too bad I don’t know any midgets so I could remind them that the golden age of midgetry will soon pass and that I will always be taller.” Just kidding, that was mean; there was no golden age of midgetry.”

Our dear, idiot Beth wants maddox shut down. Eradicated from the internet. Destroyed and probably hung, drawn and quartered (although she probably wouldn’t want it done in front of children). Her website, called MAM or Mothers against Maddox, is dedicated entirely to this ideal. Her reasons? Maddox is offensive! Maddox is making children unhappy, angry and hateful! The good news is she believes in free speech on the internet. Hooray! Oh, wait. Except when it harms children. Really:

“To start off, I support freedom of speech on the internet, but not when it HARMS children.”

I’m sure she supports cars- except when they harm children by running them over and turning them into small, wet speed bumps; food- except when it harms children by making them obese, flatulent and without hope of sex in their future and I’m sure she supports children- except when they’re beating the snot out of her child at school for naving being raised with no backbone or ability to deal with adversity.

Note in her writing what I like to call ‘idiot capitalisations’, originally designed by advertising companies to sell shit that doesn’t work to idiots. Name one great literary work that needed to use bold, italics or capitals to get it’s point accross*. If you’re an idiot just try to name one great literary work. Spider-Man comics don’t count, no matter how much you (or I) want them to.

What Beth has failed to grasp is what we, in the (vaguely) civilised and literate world refer to as a sense of humour. Since Beth was raised with no critical evaluation faculties she assumes her son has none either. Naturally, if maddox encourages suicide, 50cent encourages shooting cops and being ‘a nigga’ or Marilyn Manson encourages whatever it is he is meant to encourage (dressing badly and making a shitload of money?) her son will do them BECAUSE HE HAS ONLY EVER BEEN TAUGHT TO DO WHAT HE IS TOLD*.

I don’t often write to people I know, let alone people I don’t know, but I had to.

Dear Beth,

An interesting site you have, it is important for parents to stick together for the benefit of their children. And it is, of course, perfectly reasonable for you to inflict whatever viewpoint you have on your son. Western governments are kind enough to admit that they don’t have a ‘proper and correct’ methodology for raising children and so allow us all our best shot within a few practical limitations of violence, social cleanliness and sexual perfidity.

Having read the article on suicide you hold in such esteem I would confidently affirm that anyone with an IQ allowing themselves to cross a road unassisted would be able to tell that the article was not meant as a serious treatise. Anyone unable to cross the road unassisted has bigger things to worry about than suicide.

Regardless of your views on the subject I would hope that you would not wish to impose your views and restrictions on to me, an innocent some thousands of miles away who thinks of maddox’s site as one of the best and funniest on the web, regardless of whether I agree with his opinions or not. It is a welcome break from the rubbish turned out by almost everyone else.

As to your problem, perhaps some sort of restriction of your son’s surfing habits is in order, or perhaps you could remove his computer entirely and make him play a little sport. If necessary some sort of chaperone could follow him around 24hours a day making sure that he does not step outside of your clearly defined moral guidelines or, god forbid, become moody.

Perhaps now that it is 2007 and your son still lives you may look back and realise that the deep moodiness you observed was puberty. After all, sexual maturation is a fearful thing when what little you know comes from a combination Hollywood movies and talks with other pubescent teens at lunch.

Nonetheless it is not your place to have maddox banned any more than it would be mine to have panicky, controlling parents ritually and publicly beaten for passing on their somewhat fascist phobias of conflicting views to their children. I think both our chances of success are limited in this regard.



I am sure Idiot beth and her ilk would be fuming if they had read this piece and got this far. “He’s just the same type of person!” They would shout, “It’s just them trying to stick together!”

This is not true. I am, in actuality, far worse than maddox. I think of everything as entertainment. Things at least appear to make him actually annoyed and emotive where I only get annoyed or have an emotion if I think it might be amusing to do so. If her child had been dumb enough to commit suicide after one of maddox’s pieces I would find that hysterical (and a relief to the species that his genes were not passed on). I lied about the last use of quotes from your site, by the way maddox, here is an extract of what she fears her 14yr old son read:

“Thinking about suicide but you’re not sure if it’s the right thing to do? Here are some tips to help you decide whether or not killing yourself is a good choice:

1. Do you live at home but your parents are always making you clean your room and do your homework? It’s a sure sign that they don’t love you and that they want you to kill yourself. Why else would they make you clean your room? What are they going to do next, ground you? Make you wear braces? Don’t kid yourself, the message is clear.

4. Spill a drink at a party? Drop a plate of food in a restaurant? Nobody else has to live with that kind of embarrassment; you know what you have to do.”

Yes, if that piece had made her son commit suicide I would laugh like a drain. Smartest species on the planet: my arse. And before you think there is a conspiracy of people like me and maddox against Idiotbeth (and her… Elk?) maddox doesn’t like people like me, either. This is what he has to say about bloggers:

“If the thousands of mid-sentence links don’t annoy you, the long slender columns of text will. Most of the screen on a blog is blank for an imaginary populace of readers still using 640×480 resolution. I didn’t buy a 19″ monitor to have 50% of its screen real-estate pissed away on firing white pixels, you assholes. They don’t print books on receipt paper for a reason. Every time I see this layout, I want to choke the creator with my dry, crackled, and bleeding hands for making my fingers so calloused from having to keep scrolling the mouse wheel to read your dumb ‘blog.'”

I’ll have you know, that’s grey pixels, maddox. Grey! The real irony is Idiotbeth is trying to save kids from “believing Maddox, or else they may grow up to become violent, prejudice adults like him.” I cannot speak for the violent part but prejudice comes from isolation and insular upbringing, not the reverse. Bigotry is a result of the breakdown of critical evaluation faculties (sometimes known as ‘thought’ or ‘thinking’, Idiotbeth) or the lack of access to a broad base of information and opinion and the subsequent parroting of someone else’s ideas and ideals as your own.

No-one should “believe” maddox. Or me. Or their teachers or parents or preachers or uncles who “just want to show them how much they love them”, Idiotbeth. But in maddox’s case you can at least enjoy his opinions, entertainingly presented as they are.

I encourage anyone and everyone to go and observe the evil that is maddox on


and for further amusement check out Idiotbeth at



* Yes, I am using things like capitals and italics and bold after vilifying them. this is called irony, or sarcasm**, or something. Look them up. The rest of the world has known about them for ages, like evolution.
** if sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, at least it is wit. Which is better than witless, idiot.

ref: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net
ref: http://www.geocities.com/mothersagainstmaddox/main.htm


People like idiotbeth lead to the vilification of those people who keep the wheels of the (under)world lubricated- the porn stars, drug dealers, hookers, comedians and fences of stolen goods. All my favourite people, in fact.

I love the fact that her site reads like an advert for maddox if you have an ounce of freedom of thought. See if you aggree:

“Here are some examples of why Maddox’s site needs to be shut down:

Here, he tries to fool kids into believing that suicide is the “right thing” to do.
Here, he promotes child abuse.
Here, he insults “unfit” people and makes them seem like they’re inferior to others.
Here and here, he promotes hate against women while using stereotypical insults.
Here, he promotes the killing of whales.
Here, he makes fun of a group of people just because he doesn’t agree with their life choice.
Here, he tries to offend young kids by insulting their art.
Here, he promotes killing animals, while insulting vegetarians.
Here, he promotes littering.
Here, he insults children and promotes child abuse.
Here, he promotes violence.
Here, he attacks feminism.
Here, he promotes violence against the elderly.
Here, he attacks environmentalist groups and our world.”

Hell, I know I want to read every one of those pieces. Idiots like this need to talk to someone who doesn’t agree with them occasionally.

http://www.freesearch.co.uk- dictionary



noun {C}

a stupid person or someone who is behaving in a stupid way:

– Some idiot left the tap running in the bathroom and there’s water everywhere.

– {as form of address} You stupid idiot – that’s a month’s work you’ve lost!