I think I’m getting old. I always said that you’re getting old when you don’t get the music anymore. Garage I got. Dance I got. Hip-hop I got. The ABBA resurgence I didn’t get but I have the excuse of having to live through it the first time. I even (sometimes) got rap.

Rave and all it’s sub-sects, though, are beyond my ‘got’. I am one of those who refer to it as “Duf-Duf” music. I went to a rave to try it out. I tried dancing to it. No-go. I tried it out at home. I tried listening very carefully to it. No-go. But I didn’t do the one thing I think you really need to appreciate it. I didn’t try listening to it on ‘E’. There is a reason for this, and it has nothing to do with me being anti-drug, because I’m not really.

‘E’ is a crap drug. In fact, all modern drugs are crap. I say this from personal experience. They’ve been stepped on and cut so many times that what most cocaine addicts in rehabilitation programs need is baby powder, not methadone. LSD freaks are really into blotting paper and could probably rehabilitate with a good book, although probably not by reading it.

When you listen to stories from your parents and family who were around in the seventies it doesn’t compare. Drugs then did the business. They allowed you to have intimate 2-way conversations with household objects. They allowed you to tweak the nose of the devil and look up the trouser-pants of God to see if he (or she) was wearing any underwear. (The answers are “She” and “No”, apparently.) My one Uncle claims that he once saw a way for all beings on the planet to live in peace and harmony for all time and even wrote it down on a piece of paper. He’s been looking for it ever since.

This is not just nostalgia. I, once, when in hospital was given morphine. Now, if my understanding is correct the high is similar, if not actually better, than very good heroin. I got an understanding of what real drugs do, and that is why I know all modern drugs are crap.

I almost got to the point of trying the ‘E’ + rave combination in case I was missing something special until I noticed something very disturbing. When I go out and have a good time I have stories and anecdotes about the event. Interesting things happened or, if it was a slow party, were made to happen. Things I could tell my children or, for preference, other people’s children. (I left my paternal instincts in the back of a London Black Cab along with an umbrella. I do miss that umbrella.) When I talked to Ravers the stories were always the same: “We had the best time. It was awesome. We went all through the night. We got in at one o’clock the next day. What a rush.” No detail, no content, no story.

Whereas drugs used to make people interesting, now it makes them boring. Drugs used to open up new experiences and expand your view. Now they close down new experience and confine the mind. All ‘E’ does is give energy and make the person feel loved and loving. The current generation is growing up without creating a past. If the past is what we learn from, how smart are these people going to be?

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