Jester does not hail from anywhere. In fact he doesn’t like people who hail from places as opposed to just being born there. He does not think that being pretentious right from birth is likely to result in a stable personality. He does not have a stable personality and in fact claims never to have been near a stable in his life, the rumours are untrue.

Jester occasionally resorts to crap puns. Jester lists under his strengths: “Never owned an ant farm,” and dislikes intensly people who do (doesn’t everyone). He likes dogs and cats because they never contradict him but only likes humans who do. He likes a good fight but not the physical kind. His response to physical attack is: fall over and wait till they go away. Failing that drop a hand grenade and run like hell (there is seldom violence when all are united by common purpose).

Jester likes money but not people who love money. “Money is mean, not an end,” he is heard to say. We suspect he doesn’t know what he means either but he likes obscure phrases. Jester is only moderately good; At punctuation. Editor needed.

Jester likes praise from complete strangers as he never gets any from the people who actually know him. He has taken to receiving insults as compliments instead and has “you’re a weird plonker” right at the top of the list of nice things to say to people. “You have a wierd plonker” is right at the bottom.

He doesn’t like war or fishing, placing them on the same level of human mental activity. Of the two he considers war the lesser evil because although people die at least it’s easier to sit through a television program about it. Jester thinks people who like hunting are thick and bloodthirsty except when they are pointing a big gun at him. Then he thinks they are (and I quote): trulyfantasticwonderfulhumanbeings.

Jester likes ‘pragmatic’ but prefers ‘automatic’ as it leaves a hand free for communication purposes. He likes living in small houses as this saves time with finding keys and glasses.


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