Have you ever noticed how men are obsessed with doing dangerous things that last only a very short amount of time: skydiving; bungee jumping; white water rafting; sex. Okay, I realise that white water rafting and sex are actually meant to take some time but… not the way I do it.

We love danger which is why we, for instance, date women. The world of the dating male is just filled with danger. There’s the waiting for the date to get ready, trying to make coversation with her father who is maybe just one step short of a serious prescription to valium and thinks that his daughter is still sweet and innocent at the age of 21. There’s the pointless questions that they ask (what are you going to do tonight) which never receive the honest answer (take her back to my place to shag her rotten) and so really shouldn’t be asked. Don’t ask the question if you can’t handle the truth.

Despite this torture we never complain about women being late for dates. Being late for a date doesn’t even compare to the terror that a male feels over the other kind of ‘late’. Men who claim to not fear this because they actually wouldn’t mind being a father and have a natural paternal instinct are the ones who managed to have a vasectomy.

(unfinished)

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